we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
