Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
