i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
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