Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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