I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
