so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
