i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
