thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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