Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
