margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
