I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
