Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize