Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
