I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
