Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
