Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
