i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize