people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
