I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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