my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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