He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
