This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
