I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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