Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
