I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
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Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
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The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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