Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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