I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
