I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
