But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
