i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
