Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize