If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
