butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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