Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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