Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
no. you can't hotbox the world.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
