i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
