It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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