So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
