addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
