Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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