I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
