I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
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I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
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Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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