Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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