I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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