Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
