I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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