Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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