You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I intend to get homeless drunk
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Boobs speak an international language.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
