Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
