i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
