She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
