Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
