Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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