I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize