if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
All the doctor said was why
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
