He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
