Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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