You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Farmville is her only friend.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
