never play flip cup with pint glasses
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
