he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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