I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
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I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
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She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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