All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
