every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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