wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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