he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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