the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
