Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
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