I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
