looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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