It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
