Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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